Hospitalization

Preeclampsia Journal Day 2:

A year ago today, I was hospitalized due to preeclampsia. Around 2am I made the decision to finally go into the doctor for my breathing issues mentioned in my previous post. It was late, I couldn’t sleep, and I had tried everything I could think of.

So at 2 in the morning I had shook my boyfriend awake and told him that I thought we should go in. I love my boyfriend and he cracks me up! He had said, “okay” and fell back asleep!! 🤣 So after we fully get up we made out way to the ER.

Once at the ER, we were told that due to Covid my boyfriend had to wait outside. So as he sat in the empty parking lot waiting for answers, I was sitting in the birthing center waiting for answers. Two am turned into 5am. 5am turned into 10am. 10am turned into noon. And I had finally been SOMETHING. All I remember hearing was the word “preeclampsia”, the word “NICU”, and “if the baby comes.” I went numb. I had no idea how exactly I should even feel or what any of it even meant.

At that point my boyfriend was able to to come up with me because we were being transferred to a different hospital. My family are a bunch of jokesters and without thinking I had messaged mom “how much do you think a plane ride would be compared to an ambulance.” Little did I know that was the last message I was able to send my mom. Next thing I knew I was crying to my boyfriend that “I didn’t want anything to happen to me” as I was being loaded onto a stretcher. For the longest time I was not able to admit I had said those words. It might not sound like something to be upset over. But to me it felt like I was the most selfish woman in the world. I was crying over what might happen to me and never ONCE asked about my baby..I guess a pregnancy always seemed too good to be true for me and I was prepared for something to go wrong from day one..I would take it all back now. I would enjoy every second of my pregnancy if I could go back.

Preeclampsia Facts:

• Develops after 20 weeks of pregnancy
• No known cause
• The only cure is to deliver the baby

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”

Dale Carnegie

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." 

Isaiah 41:10